(This is the Third of Eight Major Spiritual Experiences in my Life)
“This ātman cannot be obtained through Vedic teaching, nor by meditation, nor by much hearing [of teachings]; whomsoever this ātman chooses, by him alone is it reached. To him, this ātman reveals its own form” - Katha Upanishad, 2.23
"I am where all things began, the issuing forth of the creatures." - Bhagavad Gita X, 39
In August 1973, at age 36, I experienced Para Bhairava, Supreme God Consciousness, what is now popularly termed “Cosmic Consciousness.”
The "Experience" was such that I didn't know whether I was dying, hallucinating, poisoned, or what or why this was happening.
My experiential reality ("Maya") was suddenly stripped away and I was confronted with "God only knows what."
All theretofore perceived objects vanished entirely (nirvakalpa-samadhi).
All about me, all that I perceived as Reality, dissolved into a Tabula Rasa, a blank nothingness. It was as if I were first standing, encircled, in the midst of an illusory curtain of objected matter that blinded me, blocked my view, to whatever was behind it. When the Curtain, the “Veil of the Temple,” was rent, there was Nothing behind it!
It was The Great Dissolution, the end of the previous Universe, the beginning of The Night of Brahman (pralaya), the moment manifestation (shristi) ends and That One sleeps for 4.32 billion years, and the three gunas (forces) of Prakriti (satwa, rajas, and tamas) are in complete equilibrium.
Upon awaking (shristi) from Samadhi, I was infinitely small (anor aniyan), a singularity, a point of view looking out through the eyes of a tremendous being (Cosmic Person) of infinite dimensions (Mahato mahiyin), i.e., if, oxymoronically, dimensions were possible.
Looking down at my legs and body, I was amazed that I was inside of, controlling, such a huge Being, a Kabbalistic Adam Kadmon, as it were. It was like looking out from the eyes of the Statue of Liberty in a way; "a Rockefeller Plaza Prometheus," alone in the Void. This "Body," this "Universe," was all there was.
There was nothing else. No light. No darkness. Nothing!
"There was neither non-existence nor existence. There was neither the realm of space nor the sky which is beyond. There was neither death nor immortality. There was no distinguishing sign of day or night. That One breathed by its own impulse. Other than that, there was nothing beyond." - Veda Hymn of Creation
Suddenly, the Nothingness began to separate into shapes and forms. My observance had disturbed the equilibrium of Prakriti and Gunas began attaching themselves to Gunas.
I was witnessing Creation, remembering the past Universe as it was.
PROVERBS 8:22–27 (New American Standard Bible)
22 The LORD possessed me at the beginning of His way,
Before His works of old.
23 From everlasting, I was established,
From the beginning, from the earliest times of the earth.
24 ‘When there were no depths I was brought forth,
When there were no springs abounding with water.
25 Before the mountains were settled,
Before the hills I was brought forth;
26 While He had not yet made the earth and the fields,
Nor the first dust of the world.
27 When He established the heavens, I was there. . .
What was assembling before me was a scene separated from me by a Great Abyss, the Void.
Beyond that Abyss was a Mountain and a Sea off in the distance.
On that Mountain, seated on a Rock, in the nearly identical pose of Rodin's "The Thinker," was a God-like Bearded Man of unimaginable anatomical perfection in Left Profile.
Nothing seemed real; the perfectly round Disc (Moon) in the sky appeared stage-like as well (no radiance) (♫"It's only a Paper Moon sailing over a Cardboard Sea"♪).
I was observing all this as a Being of Pure Consciousness; the Life observing the Clay, as it were. The thoughts of the Man on the Mountain were my thoughts. He ("I") was asking him ("My") self the Eternal Questions. "I" the Observer, the Man the Observed, yet One and the same.
He never looked toward me. It was "I" who was aware of him, he was unaware of me.
He stood up, and walked toward the Peak of the Mountain, his back towards me. He walked around, then down, the right side of the Mountain, and disappeared from my view.
I next became aware that "I" was separate from my body. I thought, "What's happening? I'm so afraid." Then, "There's nothing to be afraid of; I'm all there is."
Looking down from the right, out of my seated body, "I" suddenly had great compassion and love for this Beast, this Primate, who had harbored me for all my life. "I" was the god to whom he prayed for all these years.
"I" was his immortal.
If not for me, he would have been the King of the Beasts in the Natural Order of Things.
"I" thought, "When Buddy (body) dies, he hits the ground and rots. What happens to me? Where do "I" go?"
The World changed quickly after Samadhi. It was the same World ( Samsara), but Different.
It was as if I had assumed the consciousness of All and upset the Universal Balance, a new element added to an already full complement; the straw that broke the camel’s back.
This, of course, is a very brief, very superficial recollection of a much greater "Experience" that could fill volumes. It is what has been driving me for more than 48 years to seek answers to the Eternal Questions.
I have lived a Mystical Life in a Quest that has rewarded me with a wealth of “a posteriori” knowledge after strict self-schooling that corresponds exactly to my “a priori” experiences; yet, Absolute Knowledge was still not in my grasp until my 8th major spiritual experience which occurred December 8, 1976 (“I” am not here).
Of the 1,000’s of books that looked for me, were read by me, a select few have given names to, and are in agreement with, the elements of the “Experience”:
1. The Bhrihadaranyaka Upanishad;
2. Proverbs 8:22–27; and
3. “The Wisdom of the Vedas,” by J.C. Chatterji in which I was amazed to discover an exact description of the Unitive Vision, the Third of Eight Major Spiritual Experiences in my life in Part I, the chapter titled “Waking Up.”
My Weltanschauung changed after the Experience of August 1973. Ignorance is truly Bliss. It beats Infinite Insanity. Why do I know what I know? I keep trying to pull the wool over my own eyes but it's of no use. If you are someone who is truly spiritually awakened, on the Path, please post a comment.
In August 1973, at age 36, I experienced Para Bhairava, Supreme God Consciousness, what is now popularly termed “Cosmic Consciousness.”
All about me, all that I perceived as Reality, dissolved into a Tabula Rasa, a blank nothingness. It was as if I were first standing, encircled, in the midst of an illusory curtain of objected matter that blinded me, blocked my view, to whatever was behind it. When the Curtain, the “Veil of the Temple,” was rent, there was Nothing behind it!
It was The Great Dissolution, the end of the previous Universe, the beginning of The Night of Brahman (pralaya), the moment manifestation (shristi) ends and That One sleeps for 4.32 billion years, and the three gunas (forces) of Prakriti (satwa, rajas, and tamas) are in complete equilibrium.
2. Proverbs 8:22–27; and
3. “The Wisdom of the Vedas,” by J.C. Chatterji in which I was amazed to discover an exact description of the Unitive Vision, the Third of Eight Major Spiritual Experiences in my life in Part I, the chapter titled “Waking Up.”
Steve Savage "King of the Beasts"
